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Welcome to the World, My Son!

August 29, 2013

My son was born on August 29th. I don’t think I could be happier about it. I’m surprised how good it felt to be there when he was born, to see him and hold him for the first time. The experience is indescribable.

I’ve been putting together a document of my words to him, so that I don’t forget the things I wanted to teach him, and in case something should happen to me before he’s old enough to learn these things. And also something for me to leave for him to pass down – something concrete, rather than vaguely remembered phrases and words about random topics.

The common rhetoric in modern America is the parent’s duty and responsibility is limited to providing the basics (food, shelter, clothing), even if it’s merely through financial ends. I feel that is a falicy, that parenting duties go beyond the “basics”, that it is also a parent’s obligation duty to prepare their children for life as adults. The responsibility-free culture of the 60s to present has allowed parents to slip out of their parenting duties, and poor parenting is now the status quo. <shrug> Nevertheless, I feel it’s important to have something concrete that I can refer to, that he can refer to. I did the same with house rules a few years back, and it worked out very well, as it gave the entire family something we could refer to for very basic guidance.

The document isn’t finished, or even close to the state of readiness that I’d hoped for – mostly because I keep adding to it and editing it, and I haven’t organized the structure very well. Once I’m out of work, I will throw myself at it for a few days until I’m satisfied with the results. Still, I feel good about the progress I’ve made.

I’m so proud to be a father. I’ve been waiting for this day for a very long time. I had almost always wanted a family. Four years now I’ve been a step father to two, and I feel that I’ve grown and learned from the experience. I’m glad that my son will have older siblings to learn from and look up to. Also, I think that having my son with their mother gives me a bit more legitimacy as being part of the family, instead of just “mom’s boyfriend” – bringing us all a bit closer and giving more meaning to the relationships everyone has, since a newborn’s life will be shaped by the strength and nature of the bonds between his family members.

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