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Why Don’t I Like Nintendo Anymore?

September 28, 2016

Why did I stop playing Nintendo games? Namely the new Zelda, Mario, and Metroid…? Lack of narrative, and lack of interesting protagonist. For a long time I wondered why I hadn’t felt the urge to keep up with the Zelda games, or the Marios, or Metroid. I LOVED those games in my youth – and all the way up to Majora’s Mask I would play all the zelda through TWICE. Three times in the case of Ocarina of Time. Yet – I feel like I’d be forcing myself to play Skyward Sword, Super Mario Galaxy, or any of the other top TOP ranked Nintendo games. It all comes down to bland protagonists and relatively weak narratives.

On top of that it was hard to keep playing Nintendo when I moved to Europe in 2000. The power difference knocked out my N64 and I had to wait a while to buy one from Germany that worked (thankfully my US carts worked with the German system). PS2 soundly won the console wars in the country I lived in, with even XBox barely having a niche market – and Nintendo Gamecube was entirely absent. So even trying to keep up was futile. Still, I think it was the games alone that lost my interest as I got older.

Mario basically doesn’t have a story. It’s a perpetual platformer with a silent protagonist. It’s console platforming in its most pure form – for both good and bad. I find myself just not having any reason to want to suffer through the shitty parts of levels. I’m not curious what lies beyond it.

Metroid always seemed to randomly generated – like a Minecraft style world – it was too easy to get lost in the samey looking shit levels. I loved the original, but looking back on it, navigating the game world was tedious and grindy. I never even played Super Metroid because it seemed tedious.

And Zelda. Oh boy. This is the one I think I feel the most “guilty” about having skipped out on. I tried catching up with the boat game (whatever it was called, Wind Waker?) – I beat that game – and I didn’t like any part of it. I didn’t like cell shaded cutesy link, I didn’t like the gameplay, I didn’t like the boat travel, I just didn’t like the game. Even the story was… predictable and trite. Oh, pirate leader tomboy is actually Zelda, and Ganon is … eh, you just never see him (which I guess could be said of the ORIGINAL NES game, but at least in Ocarina of time they built him up as a villian throughout the story) until the anticlimatic underwater Samurai bullshit battle. WTF was up with that anyway? Ugh.

Really though, I think Baldur’s Gate, Mass Effect, and WoW have ruined simple console style games. Now I expect depth, variety, interesting characters – not just jumping and pushing puzzles with overly simplified combat. What I expect from games these days the Nintendo core lineup just doesn’t provide. They pretty much stayed in the 8 bit era design wise – and only upgraded the graphics. That’s sad… Oh well. I’ll still give the newest ones a try “soon” now that I can emulate them.

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